batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
