At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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