i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
