I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
