...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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