She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
