just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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