So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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