what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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