I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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