Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
