My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i will never coherently bang her
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
