So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So squirting runs in the family.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
