he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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