sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
