Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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