and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
