My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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