And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
