there's paper in my vomit.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
