hotel room ftw
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
