The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
