Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
