Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
