And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
