Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i will never coherently bang her
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
