Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
