I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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