You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
