I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
