I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
