Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
