You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize