1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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