You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
