somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
