I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
