I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
