that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
