You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize