sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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