Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize