New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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