Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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