Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
