I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
