i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize