Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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