at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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