I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
