physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
