Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
