I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
