We won't sleep together?
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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