btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
did you just send me my own nude
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
