He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize