just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is wine microwaveable?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
