I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
