I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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