Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize