My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
