i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
