does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
