I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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